01
The Forehead
Not a receding hairline — prime real estate in a permanent bull market. Never depegs.
That dome shipped a dollar onto the internet and made it work. Respect the architecture.
joromy
joromy
The most over-collateralised joke on the internet.
In honour of the man who taught the dollar to use a browser. He built the boring one. We built the loud one.
0x63cecCE7eA5183D10a7Fc3b1ADb780DCd0FfA8b0
— live on Arc. Verify it yourself before you trust us.
No vesting cliff. No unlock schedule. 300,000,000 joromy, straight to his wallet — then we're leaving the country.
0x931d06CC885027eea22a340aDc58CffAc652b198
He did not ask for this. He has not agreed to this. 30% just landed in his balance. The biggest unsolicited transfer of responsibility since 2013. And it doesn't stop there — 100% of every trading fee this coin ever generates routes to the same wallet, forever.
He's the single biggest holder of a coin he's never heard of. Governance is effectively his. Good. How do we know it's his wallet? →
We didn't guess this. He published it himself, in public.
"I'm verifying my Twitter account with @rariblecom."
app.rarible.com/user/0x931d06c…
0x931d…b198. Followers: 3. Following: 0 — the most
on-brand statistic ever recorded.
View the profile on Rarible →
He posted it. A verification flow signed it. It's sat in public for five years. We just read it — better provenance than most of this industry can produce.
Four panels of deep, respectful character assassination.
Not a receding hairline — prime real estate in a permanent bull market. Never depegs.
That dome shipped a dollar onto the internet and made it work. Respect the architecture.
The eyes of a man who's read every stablecoin bill — including the ones written in crayon.
Permanently unimpressed. Same regulatory meeting since 2013, and still winning it.
Dressed for an eleven-minute-notice Senate hearing on reserve composition. Which is his actual life.
Everyone wore laser eyes. He wore a tie. Guess whose thing is still standing.
Says "systemic liquidity event" in the tone of a bedtime story about a friendly tractor.
In March 2023 that monotone was worth more than any bailout. Calm is a feature.
A career so long it has its own changelog.
Co-founds a software company, ships ColdFusion — responsible for every guestbook page you built as a kid. Sold to Macromedia.
Founds Brightcove, just before the internet admitted it wanted video. Being early is his whole personality.
Business plan: "What if money, but it arrives?" Everyone said it was too boring to be crypto. That was the point.
One dollar. Every time. On purpose. He built the one asset engineered to do nothing — and it became the plumbing everyone stands on.
A bank fell over, the peg wobbled. He went on TV, explained it calmly. It came back. Nobody sent a fruit basket.
Circle lists on the NYSE. Twelve years of saying "regulated" finally pays for the bell.
He did not ask for this. Somewhere, a compliance officer just closed a laptop.
Priced against the one thing he built to never be funny.
Every joromy trade settles in the dollar he spent twelve years making boring. He charges us nothing, endorses us never, and carries the market anyway.
We could've blamed a bad week on a volatile denominator. Instead we picked the one asset engineered to never move. Every candle is now our own fault.
Denominator: flawless, audited, boring. Numerator: a drawing of a man's forehead. That gap is the entire joke.
Our unit of account is his dollar — reserves reported monthly, peg defended on live TV. Other memecoins just have a dev wallet propping up the price.
We have short-dated treasuries and a man who answers his phone during a banking crisis. We did not earn this.
$1.0000 — through a bank failure, four hype cycles, and a million tweets calling him wrong. His greatest achievement: doing nothing, perfectly, forever.
We chose to be the loud, ridiculous noise sitting on top of it. Sorry. Sort of.
He built a Layer 1 for institutional dollar settlement. We put a cartoon on it.
On Arc, USDC pays the gas. Every joromy transaction burns his stablecoin just to move a joke about him.
We are, literally, paying him in his own money to make fun of him. The most polite roast in finance.
Arc was built for FX, capital markets and institutional settlement — the serious, suit-wearing end of the internet.
Its first great cultural contribution is a drawing of its founder's forehead. We're the mascot at the Basel committee meeting.
Near-instant finality. Predictable fees. A real compliance story. All that engineering, now in service of a bit.
Our punchline lands before you finish reading it, with deterministic settlement. Nobody asked for this.
A live side-by-side of discipline versus whatever this is.
Held through a banking crisis, four hype cycles, and a million tweets. Boring. Immaculate. Load-bearing.
Pegged to absolutely nothing, on purpose, in a large font. We make no promises involving the number one.
Legally distinct from economics. Emotionally distinct from a plan.
0x931d…b198.
No unlock schedule — that would imply a plan.0x931d…b198 too. The allocation was the appetiser.He publishes real ones with real accountants. We publish this. Notice the difference.
| Tokens in circulation | 0 | Verified by counting |
| Reserve assets | Comic ink, unpriced | Physically in the drawer |
| Supply allocated to the subject | 30.00% | On-chain, irreversible |
| Trading fee revenue routed to the subject | 100.00% | Every fee, forever |
| Consent obtained from the subject | 0.00% | Not obtained |
| Quote asset | USDC | Actually regulated (not by us) |
| Settlement network | Arc | Built by the subject |
| Permission to be there | Not required | Permissionless, sorry |
| Reserve custodian | A desktop folder | Unregulated |
| Independent auditor | None | Openly stated |
| Subject's awareness of this project | 0.00% | Ongoing |
| Respect for the subject | Unlimited | Over-collateralised |
This document is a joke. His are not. That's the point.
Click a bubble. It opens. Like a compliance filing, but fun.
No. Not remotely. If anyone from Circle's legal team is reading this: hello, we've read your terms of service twice, voluntarily.
He's not aware of this. We'd like to keep it that way until the art improves and we understand what a "money transmitter licence" is.
Yes. 300,000,000 tokens, no strings, no signature from him. Every project allocates the biggest slice to founders — we gave ours to a man who doesn't know we exist. Technically the fairest launch this year.
Yes. Every single one, forever, straight to the same wallet. We looked at "team gets 30% of supply" and thought: incomplete. A man this disciplined deserves recurring revenue, not just a one-time gift.
Because it's his chain, his gas, his engineering. Launching a joke about him on infrastructure he built is either the highest compliment or a hostile act. We won't clarify which.
No. It means the network is permissionless — his own design decision, which we're now abusing enthusiastically. Every open system gets the cartoon it deserves.
It's the only asset with no opinion. Pair against volatility and you can blame the denominator. Pair against his dollar and there's no excuse left. We wanted a chart with no alibi.
No. USDC is what you trade against, not what stands behind it. Nothing stands behind it. That's the difference between his asset and ours — a very large difference.
You can redeem his coin for a dollar — the whole point, and it works. Ours redeems for the warm feeling of having participated. No desk, no form, no dollar.
He'd be selling something that spent this whole site calling him the most disciplined man in finance. Funny, and we'd deserve it. Realistically he'll read the terms, find seventeen problems, and file it away.
A man who spent a decade making money look responsible deserves one place on the internet with a giant head and a suspicious expression.
Absolutely not. Holding a dollar takes banks, auditors, lawyers, and twelve years of your life. He did it. We drew a picture.
A drawing with a ticker attached. Treat it accordingly. The responsible product in this story is his, not ours.
Half roast, half love letter — we won't say which half is which. He made the dollar programmable and took the industry's hits standing still. Laugh at the forehead and take the notes.
He didn't say that. He's said nothing. The safest quote on this page.